Assertiveness

This passage describes situations where it is important to assert yourself.

Lexile Level: 960L

Categories: People & Places

Some of us are not comfortable being assertive. This leads to a desire to avoid conflict and confrontation. However, there are sometimes situations when it may be harmful or unwise not to confront individuals who are showing a lack of respect for our needs or well-being. For instance, if an individual continually fails to return borrowed items that you have loaned, it may be necessary to confront the individual with your concerns. There are three steps that can prove useful in this type of situation. The first step is to objectively describe the situation: "I notice that often when I lend things to you, they are not returned." The next step is to let the other person know how his or her actions make you feel: "This makes me feel that you might take my generosity for granted." Stating your feelings, as opposed to making judgments, is much less likely to arouse defensive reactions. The third step is simply to remain silent. This gives the other person a chance to respond to your concerns. These three steps can provide a useful map to confronting uncomfortable situations.